Things change

     Since my last post I have started school.  I am pursuing a degree in Criminal Justice with a saturation in Human Services.  My oldest son and his fiance' has had our first granddaughter and my youngest son is in the Air Force.  There has been a lot of adjusting going on and some of it has not been easy but we're making it work.

Hello again

Well since my last post a lot has happened. I have lost (was fired from ) my job. Which may be a blessing in disguise. The only looming question is "WHAT NOW?""" Do I go to college and try and get a degree or do I try and find another job. I've been doing a lot of seeking God on this and feel like I need to pursue the school thing. The only thing is with us down to one income now, are we going to be able to make it with all the bills?? I guess since God has led me to go back to school instead of work, then He'll provide for us. I just have to believe that. I know the meaning of doing things afraid. Back to the scenario of Indiana Jones about to step off that cliff into what seems like nothingness and finding out that there is a unseen path across.

Ever been??

I don't like my job. I could care less about the company I work for. I could care less about where the company is going and what new things that are happening.. When they obviously could care less about me. I'm just interested in making it to 5 p.m without breaking a sweat and not losing my sanity in the process. The company filing for bankruptcy and then coming out of it hasn't done much to fatten my wallet. In fact it has actually thinned my wallet. Since I had to lose 7 days of pay , plus have my pay lowered .60 per hour two years ago. I have gotten however more gray hairs.. The only thing it does do which is the only things I'm grateful for in having the job is that it allows me to make my house payment and provide insurance for me and my Husband. Which I guess that should be all that matters and I should just shut up and be grateful that it does at least do that. That's what most people would tell me.

Working in the desert

I have just realized that I'm not working in a field of opportunity to be a witness to anyone, but in fact am working in a desert. In saying that I'm still there to be a light for God. I'm just not there to be anything other than an employee. I'm not there to be a help to anyone, unless God sees to open a door to help. I'm just not there to go out of my way to be anything other than a coworker. My nature is to be helpful which I guess this is why its so hard to go against everything that's in my nature. Which maybe why I'm being carried through this.

Lest We Forget

I hope I never forget the journey and what I have learned and what I've been shown because I don't want to be taken through the things that God has taken me through again.. I want to never forget what I've learned. The knowledge that God wants a submitted vessel that is only here to do His will.

Understanding

There are things I just don't understand.. Things that I may never understand.. The whys and wherefores of my life.. Knowing I want something different or better or however you want to look at it.. Knowing that my wanting may not be enough. Feeling like that I'm suppose to be living my life differently and not understanding what exactly that's suppose to be. Maybe I'm just not asking the right questions..

The more things change

I got to spend some time with a girl that I went to high school with, that I haven't seen in almost 25 years today.. She looks the same and she's just as happy as I remember her.. I know that her life has had a lot of ups and downs just like mine, but she seems to handled better than I have mine.. Of course I haven't watched her walk the road of faith that she has so I don't know the times she's either fallen off the path or fallen down and had to pull herself together and get back up and keep on walking.. I can't see the spiritual patches she's had to sew on her armor to keep her shield of faith together.. I haven't seen the battles she's had to fight either against a living and breathing adversary, or the battles within her own self. It reminds me of the song " The Warrior Is A Child," by Twila Paris.

That's why I never understand the people who when someone has fallen or isn't living up to their expectations thinks its their right to correct or judge, or try and put them back on the path that they think is holy and honorable. Not realizing that the battle to get back up is part of the strengthening of the faith process that God is needing them to go through..

I also have a problem with someone thinking that they're more holy and because they think that their more holy can sit in the judgement seat and say if your saved or living right or whatever.. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HAS GOTTEN THEM WHERE THEY'RE AT!!! You can say it's unconfessed sin or their running away from the will of God. BUT YOU DON'T KNOW!!